1. 24
    9
    Apr

    I’m a slut because i’ll wear shorts and a tank top. I’m a bitch because i don’t let you push me around. I’m a liar because i won’t tell you everything. I’m stupid because sometimes i’m wrong. I’m ugly because my face isn’t perfect. I’m a whore because i like boys. I’m annoying because i’m not chill enough. I’m a loser because i’m not friends with your group. I’m fake because most of the time i’m happy. I’m weird because i’m not like you. I’m controlling because i get mad. Sometimes i’m clingy because i like being around people. I’m greedy because i like to be satisfied. I’m naive because i’m younger than you. I’m conceited because i’m proud of who i am. I’m rude because my manners aren’t perfect. i’m unappreciative because i don’t praise you. Don’t tell me who i am because i already know.

  2. 2
    Mar
    sea of people, and there really is, is one

    sea of people, and there really is, is one

  3. 2
    Mar

    faded glory

    You  know, as I grow older, I make more choices, some that can be viewed by others as stupid and childish, and others that can be viewed as great.

    I think what I have learned over the course of my life time is that the glory you get now, will never equate to the glory you will strive for. Not because we will never achieve that perfect “10” but because we might not know what our perfect score is at that moment in time.

    Life for me has seemed to change a lot lately. People, friends, work, etc. I’m finding myself questioning things a lot more, especially as of lately. Maybe the people who we look to in our lives as a strong hold, really aren’t the strong hold we expect or want them to be. Maybe life is full of pedestals and we just keep putting people up there because we are afraid of our own perfection… or imperfection.

    I know day in and day out, I used to just roll over and just let people talk over me, now I don’t. Can’t say that its better can’t say that its worse. It does make me sad though when people just hear you and don’t really listen to you. I am guilty of that too. I know that. I’m not perfect. BUt at the same time, I hate when I have told people something, time and again, and they take it, and say “you never told me that” or “I didn’t know that” I want to scream at the top of my lungs YES I DID. I have a good memory, if anything, thats what I have, and I listen to what I have told people and what people have told me. I hate when You HEAR me but don’t listen. I hate when you sit there and get all upset because you feel like I don’t listen. I do listen. Thats what angers me.

    I hate when people try to tell me how to do my job, live my life, or do anything. Its like input that they don’t know or don’t understand sometimes. Again its when they hear me but don’t actually listen, if they listened they’d understand the predicament. but to each their own.

    So I applied for 4 different places today to live. I need to take some time off to move, just a few days and go back to work. I want to go to Canada again and visit David and bring him back… but we’ll see. Thats a pipe dream for right now.

    The only thing lately that has been making me smile has been talking to David or Doron or Jason… no one else really has asked to see how I was.. not my sister or brother or bff… and its cool life doesn’t revolve around me, but some days it just sucks. I feel like the forgotten one.

    You know Doron said to me the other day, “I wish I had a partner, like you had Samm, maybe things would be different”

    I don’t even have that partner now, not really. Maybe but no.

    I’m pushing through with my life, alone. Typical, right? I guess my mom was right about something. I don’t have anyone but me, at the end of the day, I will take care of myself. and I have been. And thats cool.

    People wonder why I’m a recluse…

    I’ll be fine just being by myself.

    Hopefully next year, it wont be this way.

  4. 20
    Feb

    thoughts

    Cancer-

    genitiveCan·cri [kang-kree] Show IPA. (initial capital letter) Astronomy. the Crab, a zodiacal constellation between Gemini and Leo.

    (initial capital letter) Astrology.a.the fourth sign of the zodiac: the cardinal water sign.b.a person born under this sign, usually between June 21 and July 22.

    Cancer -

    –noun1.Pathology.a.a malignant and invasive growth or tumor, esp. one originating in epithelium, tending to recur after excision and to metastasizeto other sites.b.any disease characterized by such growths.2.any evil condition or thing that spreads destructively; blight.



    Add BREAST to the second meaning.
    My aunt got her breast cancer back. I don’t know how I feel about this right now.
    I keep pretending its fine and it doesn’t matter. Can it affect me? It is her second time now… Is this forreal? Am I going to get this? Do I get the chance to have a normal life…
    Did you know, Cancer runs in my family… Grandfather, Uncle, Father, Aunt… all my Dad’s side…


    fear

    [feer] Show IPA–noun1.a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling orcondition of being afraid.

    Thats me.

  5. 9
    Feb

    "Excuses are like assholes. Everyone’s got one"

    - Steven B. Ward
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